By George, he's arrived!

Christian, Helen & Oliver George. Yes, George!

George Best, Angie & Callum, back in the day. Time to wet the baby's head?

After a year best forgotten by far too many of Peter’s Friends, your correspondent is delighted to revel in the good news that Christian & Helen had a son on Saturday, arriving fashionably late by 1 week. All is well, and the parents are understandably delighted. Your correspondent had the news broken to him by George Best yesterday morning, who apparently lost any sense of reserve and calm during the delivery process. And understandably so, I gather. Anyway, he had managed to compose himself by the time he called, dragging himself away from "Scrapheap Challenge" in order to break the news to the waking world on Sunday morning. The press release from Harleston read as follows, and Christian was thoughtful enough to include some biological details for those who like such things.

Hello all,

Please see attached photos of Ollie Whiting, born 10:10 am on the 12:12:09, weighing 7lb 12oz.

Best laid plans and all of that - our well progressing home birth suddenly turned into a forceps hospital delivery, as little man passed meconium and became stressed; on the upside that meant an epidural for the last 20 mins of the birth - sheer bliss!

We are obviously heavily biased, but we think he's gorgeous.

Lots of love, and Happy Christmas,

Christian and Helen XXX


What he forgot to include was that fact that he his son had taken his christian name as his second name. Not Christian, of course……….. but George. This is quite true.

41 not out

And to think Liz has had 15 years of this steady decay into middle age..

Greater love have no-one in risqué behaviour with their oldest male chum for three of Peter’s Friends to purchase your correspondent a pair of rather fetching pink Diesel pants for his 41st birthday. I thought you might like to see the evidence. As ever, the Coven are very thoughtful. And rude, of course. And yes, this is after breathing in!

Bush, Ming and a video gatecrasher

The answer, my friends, is confetti in the wind

Your correspondent would like to share a small offering thoughtfully provided by Shteeeeve, depicting the scenes outside the church at the Bush/Ming nuptials. The clip, rather bizarrely, heavily features your correspondent offering his formal congratulations, but this should not detract from the overall effect of the occasion. Well, hopefully not, anyway.

No beating around the Bush

An ageing roue, and a bride who had plenty of occasion to blush after the speech

I have been overwhelmed with messages asking if anyone thoughtfully filmed 7/8ths of the speech given by your correspondent at the Tiffany nuptials, and after much searching, I have been able to locate a rough cut of the address as filmed by Liz, who managed to press record when she had overcome a similar bout of nerves as enjoyed by your correspondent, who went un-characteristically tense before his address. I know it’s rather self indulgent, and you may well ask if I have managed to get any video clips of the bride on the day (my answer is sadly in the negative), but I shall be delighted to upload/link to any clips any other of Peter’s Friends have also managed to take of the day.

Just in case you are interested, the speech read as follows, and I cut off where the video cuts in. Highlights include a “Yes” by Angela Sweeney at 7.15, in approval of Mike's fig, and the "Oh no" from the bride at 2.17, when the story of the hair removals cream kicks in. As Wham! once sang, If you were there, you’d know. And even if you weren’t, you know now. Enjoy.

Introduction

Unaccustomed as I am to speaking so far north of Watford, Helen wondered earlier this year if I might like to say a few words today. Whether she envisaged me saying quite as many words as I plan to use today I cannot be sure, but I know that by the end of this speech, you will all be delighted that no expense has been spared when it comes to the quality of the upholstery provided for your comfort here today.

When Helen did me the honour of asking me to speak today, I offered her three options : A serious speech (which nobody ever opts for), something traditional or, finally, the well, frankly slightly rude and irreverent offering which I am generally noted. It will not surprise you, therefore, to note that based on what I am about to share with you today, Helen specifically opted for the third choice, and, as the bride always gets what she wants on her wedding day…………

I have made several such speeches as the one I am about to give, and the trouble with these occasions usually revolves around finding enough funny stories to run to an hour and forty five minutes of…..

At least the Tiffany's are still talking to me.

Bush has always been my inspiration, Helen.....

Kevin the hairdresser and Comrade Ralli

Lydia & Jane Bush with your corrospondent

I saw this, Helen......

One of the highlights of the wedding, if only for lovers of camp hairdressers, was the appearance of the legendary Kevin at the Tiffany nuptials. Bush, as we all know, occasionally indulges herself in some rather grand habits, and few indulgences are grander, in my not so humble opinion, than importing your hairdresser from sarf of the border all the way up to Cheshire for the weekend just to apply the Frizz-ease and give Mother Bush a blow dry. Of course, the overall effect was somewhat more than that suggested by your correspondent, as all of the Bush ladies did indeed look splendid, but three guesses what singer inspired the ethereal-woodland style sported by the bridesmaids? None other that Kate Bush, of course. Well, who else could it have been, really?

Wedding breakfast with the Tiffanys

Mr & Mrs Bush-Tiffany

So, the big day has come and gone, and your correspondent at Peter’s Friends is delighted to announce that Bush & Ming finally got married on Saturday. There were no dramas, a few post-nuptial spots of rain (but no more) and gundogs at the wedding reception at Willington Hall – what more could a bride and groom ask for? What more indeed, apart from a speech by your correspondent, a reading from Comrade Ralli and a toast from Toto. Oh yes, and the arrival at Church some 40 minutes after the bride of one Alexander Francis Bacon Esq, who appeared from his burgundy Fiesta (all of his cars are named after Paul Raymond publications) offering apologies and congratulations.

A selection of your correspondent’s photo can be located here, which barely do justice to the occasion. I have never seen Bush & Ming happier – who needed sun when disco went on till one, and when all of the guests knew of the bride’s use of depilatory creams? Not the bride & groom, that’s for sure.

So Matt, where do I put it?

I particularly liked the "finally" addition by Sharon Bush

The happy hens and token cock

In front of the bay window prior to the Saturday night oysterfest

Charming

"It looks rather like Mike's. Only it's somewhat pinker, and made of plastic, of course"

The Mini-Ming, enjoying some light refreshment

So. The wait is finally over, and as the t-shirt read, Bush & Ming are “finally getting hitched”, and amongst the final acts of singledom was, of course, the hen weekend. As your correspondent was bags-ied by the hen, all the photographs and reports relate to the visit to sunny Whitstable for a weekend of oyster eating for some, and discovery for others. A few tears, a lot of laughter, a number of presents with which batteries were, thoughtfully, included, and more seafood that you could wave a big stick at pretty much sums it up. The photographs for public consumption can be viewed here, and the choicer offerings are included above. As you can hopefully see, a good time was had by all. And, most importantly, Bush loved every minute of it.

Just in case you couldn’t make it, or were not invited, the following awards as voted for by a jury of one pretty much sum the weekend up


Most sloshed hen : Zoe
Best dinner guest : Comrade Ralli
Hen Olympics winner and best swimmer award : Sweens Sweeney
Nice pair award (based on the jostling brought about by exertions in the sack race) : Mrs Weber-McEllison (who won a conference pear to accompany her two blackened eyes)
Best painted toenails : Kirsty Calvert-Ansari
1st photographs up on Facebook : Kirsty Calvert-Ansari
Same top worn all weekend award : Kirsty Calvert-Ansari
Most unlikely hen : Your correspondent
Most indecisive menu hogger : Anita Patti
Best top on Saturday night award : ‘Er indoors (of course)
Best hen presents : Comrade Ralli’s beads
Rudest hen present : Pauline’s vibrating cock ring and vibrator set

Solo Sambuka award : Jo Flood
Silkience girl of the weekend : Sarah Buuuuuuuuuuuuuud
Hen virgin of the weekend : Anita Patti
Matching bra & pants award : Lindsey Bush
Most thoughtful hen (with the dirtiest laugh): Sharon Bush
Redest Bush & best hen : Helen Bush – there was only ever going to be one winner, wasn't there?

It’s raining cats and batteries

Kirsty wearing a cardigan made from her first rabbit, Duracell

Ian's a fan. Are you?

Kirsty’s pussy is being considered by the voting public for best in class, as Kirsty is hoping to win free feline food for a year. If it wins, you too can see it in all of its natural glory on tins of catfood in Aldi, Kwik Save and Fine Fare. Go on – make Kirsty’s day, as I to hope to do with this blog posting. You too can vote for Kirsty’s pussy by logging on to this link. It would be rude not to, really.

If you want to see something on the box that Kirsty is shamelessly plugging, by the way, tune into ITV1 this evening at 8.00pm, and you too can watch a programme about the Metropolitan Police Dog Support Unit. I know Helen has cancelled everything to stay in to watch it tonight, and I for one cannot wait.

A taste of north London

It will look like this. Only with less (and different) people

When Isaac was in the womb, with Bush who is washing her hair this year

Different people this year, but probably the same food

Karen Brady & the Fonz in 2007

The frog, who will be coming

The Howards’s of N.21 are delighted to announce the forthcoming arrival of the newly hyphenated Weber-McEllison’s, who are coming to town to attend the Taste of London food event in Regents Park next weekend, and who will be guests of honour at a gathering of a selection of Peter’s Friends who had not received a better offer at the time of asking. Just to whet your metaphorical whistles, your correspondent is pleased to publish a selection of images from the 2007 gathering, 2008 having been cancelled due to lack of energy. Let’s hope that the sun shines on the righteous, self and otherwise, next Sunday. And no, despite speaking to him regularly, we still have no idea of whether Sober will be joining us for the festivities.

Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime

Helen & Mike. Not the Helen & Mike, of course.....

May I be the 18th person to formally offer my congratulations to Bush & Ming. Just in case you are looking for any ideas for wedding presents, a visit here and here may offer some assistance. Well done to them both – no-one could me more happy for them except their families, their colleagues and their landlord Mr Pearman. Here’s to a big bash with big hair. Roll on October!

Dib dib dib

Susan is certainly a bear of a man. Discuss.

Bear Grylls

I was delighted to see that an old friend of Peter has been made Chief Scout, as the photographic evidence here amply demonstrates. The big question is, of course, whether he will be introducing new badges for water sports, eating, fatherhood, drinking…..