The Thames Corridor of Uncertainty (don’t get your Hampton Court)

Cheers Dave

This joke can run and run......

Many happy returns of the day to Sober, who rumour has it is celebrating his 35th birthday with a big night out at Chasers in Swindon. Dave asked me to let you know its alcopops for a pound, and wonderbra-get-in-free night, so if you’re in his manor, you’d be more than welcome.

The patter of tiny Boden socks....

He has much more hair that when I last saw him

Your correspondent at Peter’s Friends (termed “Mother” rather cuttingly by Susan at the weekend, amongst other) is delighted to announce news from the wild east, where George Best emailed to say he was delighted to announce that the fount of all wisdom Dr Livingston Raper and his wife Sarah have recently become the proud parents of a boy, Jack Alexander. No other news thus far, but on behalf of all at Peter’s Friends, we are delighted to wish them all well, and hope that we meet again soon one day. Good name, by the way. Well, they were never going to call him anything common like Darren, were they? Or Christian, for that matter.

The birthday season

Still crazy after all of these year's - some of Peter's Friends

2 birthday girls in celebratory mood - Bush & Sweens

The haul

Many happy returns of the day to our chum otherwise known as Red Brooks, Helen Bush. It is ill-becoming to mention a lady’s age (34), so I shall say no more than she is still remarkably well preserved all things considered, especially as she generally finds it difficult to decide which moisture cream to use of a morning. Sober went so far as to say that Helen doesn’t actually age, sentiments I very much agreed with when a gathering of Peter’s Friends took place at Howards’ End last Sunday on the occasion of Angela’s birthday. As I said to Dave, “I’ve always thought Bush looked 34”, sentiments with which Dave seemed to agree. Well, I say agree only in so much as anyone can agree to anything when you’ve had one glass of Champagne, 2 glasses of fizz, one glass of red wine, three of Steptoe’s bison grass vodka cocktails (plenty of cock and not a lot of tail) washed down with 8 cans of Strongbow…..

All of this followed a splendid weekend in the Smoke co-hosted in the Peoples Republic of Brentford and in N.21, which was attended by the Sweeney-Phillips’s and the McEllison’s, culminating in the aforementioned birthday lunch for 14 including 3 children. Suffice as to say the week thus far has been one of decidedly moderate indulgence. Until Bush cracks open the chardonnay this evening, that is…..

Clear the decks

I have too much time on my hands, obviously

Just another quiet night in Neyland

It’s a big weekend in the Smoke. Angela, Nicholas & Rohan arrive later today, the McDonald’s tomorrow and a big knees up for Angela’s birthday at Howards’ End on Sunday. In anticipation of a major visit, we’ve moved anything breakable from the reachable surfaces.Not, it should be added, that it’s Rohan we ever have to worry about…..

Are you in there, Dave?

Go on – bet you thought it was him too, didn’t you?

Guess how many of Peter’s Friends actually thought this was Sober as opposed to some non-specific gimp in a chain mail mask which your correspondent found when clicking on the following link? Well, Liz & Toto for starters. Oh yes, and Dave himself, of course.

Wombatz

Fluffy

Email received from Toto this morning.

Gweetings from Sthydney, and yeth I thaw the bit about me you cheeky bugger.

Off to cwicket tomorrow followed by a film on Indian call centres. Hope all is well with you. Felling a bit cold after India, only 24 degrees here.

Big Hug,

xxx.

As the weather in the Smoke is 8 degrees, gloomy and wet, I’m sure I can say without fear of contwadiction that our hearts bleed for our chum overseas. Although it’s very good to hear that she’s having fun.

A fiver say's it's neither

Nice top

Bush is back from Madeira tomorrow, bearing cake or Madeira, no doubt. Either that, or she'll be in such a quandary deciding which one to bring back she'll bring back neither. As and when I find out, you’ll be the next to know.

A fate worse than death.

I'd have gone for the ostrich costume myself

Three guesses whose office is celebrating Children in Need day with a village fate in the office which included a donkey derby complete with bunting? A bottle of cooking cava and £25.00 of S & M vouchers for the first correct answer out of the hat.

Stranger than fiction

The calm before the guitar

I’m sure we would all like to offer our congratulations to our friend from Swindon , who you will no doubt be delighted to hear has recently been rewarded by the Thames corridor’s most whanky employer since Wernham Hogg for the endeavours of both himself and his colleagues in the “Rapid Response Team” by award of the Customer Relations Colleagues of Distinction Quarter 3 team winners, which comes with a bottle of Champagne and £25.00 of M & S vouchers. And no, I’m not making this up.

Sthydney here we come

I didn’t know Toto was going to Newcastle, Matt

Toto called this morning and was full of beanthz, organic, of course. Our Fluffy friend (no, not Sarah’s rabbit Dave) was in excellent form prior to a 5 hour journey in a 4wd jeep to Bombay airport tomorrow from where she is due to Sydney, where she is looking forward to salad, a trip to Manley and presumably a proper drink, although she’s apparently not missing the vodka at the moment. There, I can do it. I could easily have written “sthalad”, but I showed restraint. I mustht be mellowing with age.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuud has kindly taken time off from playing with her rabbit to kindly forward to me a link to a voucher entitling the bearer 1/3rd off a meal at Chef & Brewer establishments. So, if you’re looking for a good night out with 1/3rd off your total bill, a visit here would seem to be essential. If you need to know if this sort of place will cater for your needs, this link will show you what to expect to eat. I would suggest that any hunger is appeased by 30th of November, however, as this offer expires then. Remember where you read it first.

Only Shteeeeve's & 'taches

Pancho Mulholland?

One of three Shteeeeve sent

You would have thought one would have sufficed, wouldn't you?

Of all of the greatest contributions of the writer John Sullivan to the popular lexicon, the phrases “you plonker”, “lovely jubbly” and “during the war” will often be cited as personal favourites. Mine, however, is the phrase “Jaffa” (meaning “seedless” in the reproductive sense), which I think in a work of genius. “Jaffa” is one of the favourite terms of endearment/abuse which was directed to the character “Boycie” (latterly of Only Fools & Horses, now of the Green Green Grass), who was though to be infertile as a result of the fact that his wife Marlene failed to conceive for an extensive period of time. So, when Shteeeeve rather proudly sent me the enclosed photos of his new Mexican-styleee facial adornment, I was immediately reminded of John Challis and thought I might like to share them with you all. Not, of course, that Shteeeeve could ever be considered to be a Jaffa, based on recent evidence….

Uncle Charlie!

Angela on her wedding day

Corporal Punishment & Lacey Turner in the Queen Vic

So, not only has Lacey Turner (Stacey Slater in Eastenders) nicked Sween’s post-birth hair-do, but as the enclosed evidence clearly shows, she’s also nicked Angela’s wedding dress. What would Uncle Charlie say?