Je ne sais pas, Steptoe

Mr Harry Viderci and Angela's hairdryer

Strangely enough, our final Steps back in time today takes us to Sweeney’s house above the offy on Mill Road, and the occasion he tried to repatriate the El Grecco’s who lived with Sweens and send them back to mainland Europe. He failed miserably, of course, but was once fed paella by them, I remeber, although I don't seem to ever recall them being invited back for his baked bean salad. Perhaps I was out that day. Or perhaps not.

That will do for now, I think, but there’s plenty more where those came from, as we are all no doubt aware, and it is always a pleasure, as we will no doubt attest, to Steps back in time with any of Peter's Friends.

35 today

Toto eating wubbery stweeths on her hen day

Many happy returns of the day to Toto, who is (would you believe) 35 today. We are celebrating in the time honoured fashion this evening, although it will be somewhat of a busman’s holiday tonight as we’re going to see The All Stars on their weekly residency in a bar near St.Paul’s. Let’s hope it’s not all work and no play for Mrs James this evening. I mean, you’re not 35 every day, are you?

Can’t get you out of your bed

What the lunch lacked in subtelty it mad up for in wine. And gin.

Today finds us taking a Steps back to…..well, 24 hours later, and Sunday lunch at 129 Cherry Hinton Road. We got absolutely smashed on cheap white wine from Peatlings, and Steps proceeded to pass out on his bed whilst we washed up. Plus ca change, plus ca la meme chose, as the El Grecco's used to say.

Especially for You

Where did you get that hat? Or such nice weather for April for that matter (it was a glorious weekend)

SO today, we Steps back in time to 30th April 1994, only to find Steptoe hanging with the kids at Fenner’s (our first ever visit, where we met Lord Archer) and sporting a Sean Hughes tour t-shirt. A classic slacker look as made famous in Larry Clark's Kids a mere 12 months later. As ever, Steptoe was ahead of his time.

Just in case you’re interested, responses to yesterday’s picture included

"Well, I wasn’t invited."

"Vodka yeth, jelly no."

"Did you bake a hash cake?"

"Ha ha. A box of Blue Riband and a visit to Dr Russell, if I remember rightly."

" I couldn’t stay late, as I had an essay to write."

Happy days, happy days….

Beater the devil you know

It's winner takes it all on Sunday, sadly

I just thought you might like to know that Alex is doing a 10k run for Cancer Research UK with his dodgy knee. Should you wish to spend the money you would otherwise have spent on a round of Stella's for our friend from SW Greater London on something more charitable, a visit to this link will allow you to exercise your charitable arm in the time honoured fashion. Much beater for your liver, as well. Beater. Geddit?

Steps back in time

All I want for my birthday is a new remote control.

In celebration of Steptoe’s 34th birthday today, your correspondent is pleased to reproduce the first of a series of photographs in which we, quite literally, Step(s) back in time.

So, as it’s his birthday, here’s one of his 22nd birthday in 1995 taken in the sitting room at Seymour Street, which according to the photographic evidence I hold was celebrated with vodka jelly. Anyway, many happy returns of the day Steptoe - 1995 seems like only 13 years ago, as I'm sure you will agree.

The joy of Ming's video viewer.

The Hewald of the Wed Dawn, as Toto describes Anita

Just in case you missed Anita at the TUC, her motion carrying performance can be viewed by clicking on the following link (as invented by Ming), and fast forwarding for approximately 31/32 minutes to save yourself having to watch a load of Guardian reading pinko’s being ernest at the seaside. That’s the way Bush described it, anyway. Well done again Brick.

Viva la revolution (freedom for Brentford)

Red Ralli in action earlier today

Cometh the hour, cometh the Comrade. Leaving not a dry eye in the house, Comrade Ralli produced a speech at the TUC (yes, the TUC) this morning live on BBC Parliament which resulted in a sea of red hankies as she identified the plight of district nurses flying round the country in their Morris Minors for a nugatory mileage allowance when it costs a packet to not only fill the car but to keep the old retainer on the road. And did you know that they even have to provide their own cars? Well, our Herald of the Red Dawn is fighting their corner, as is now so eminent within the trade union movement that she was the official seconder for what was the first motion of the day identifying the plight of such workers. Suffice as to say that she did herself and her union proud, and looked not only splendid but also very professional. Well done Comrade – the red flag files over sunny Brentford and for this week only, over Brighton as well.

Can you guess who it is yet?

A man with ideas above his work station?

I bet his didn't come from Glasses Direct

I arrived back at work after the James's wedding to find my new glasses had arrived from Glasses Direct whilst I was away. I thought I had better put a picture of me wearing them on this portal just in case you don't recognise me when we next meet. New glasses are no laughing matter, after all.

The day Toto became an outlaw

Mr & Mrs Benjamin James

Comrade Ralli, Toto, Sweens & Liz, who held on to her fizz flute all night

Bush, Toto (with large vodka) and Jo sporting her Facilitator

Sweens, Liz & Bush outside the Cafe Royal

Toto, Henal Hempstead and Zara, blinged up top the max.

Peter’s Friends is delighted to announce to the world that the arch Cwiminal Angel herself has been made an honest woman of at last, and is now to be formally known as Mrs Benjamin James, latterly of the parish of Wembley (sorry, Sudbury) and now of Battersea. The sun almost shone, more vodka was consumed than at a Tsar’s Bar Mitzvah and the band played until we could take no more. The bride looked marvellous, of course, and Benjamin scrubbed up well after a night in the W1 Travellodge. Anita delivered Toto in good order to the safe custody of her Father, Jo applied the slap with aplomb whilst wearing a Terminator on her head, Rachel & Steptoe made it five weddings in consecutive weekends without looking too frazzled, Bush spoke well in an almost unfeasibly short dress and Muk was almost on time. In short, a classic wedding with very Toto-ish twist. I’m sure all of Peter’s Friends wish them a long and happy life together.

Click here for a comprehnsive selection of photographs on Facebook.

Back to school in South Park

A lesson to us all

Christian Capello turning out for El Grecco United in 1994

Back to school looms for many children this week. Not that any of Peter’s Friends have to worry about such matters yet a while with regard to their own offspring, but as and when they do, they can console themselves that with teachers like Steptoe plying their wares in classrooms up and down the country, their children will be in safe hands.

This term, Steptoe is sharing his wisdom with six and seven year olds, with puppets being very much to the fore (the spirit of Mr. Garrison lives on in sunny SW London). I for one very much look forward to seeing his Mr Jambon puppet as and when it materialises (probably unshaven and sporting a tracksuit), and sense that Mr Scolari might be helping out with games, probably with the assistance of Mr Capello, on whom Mr Whiting might like to assist as a model for. I'm sure it was never like this in my day. Good luck, Sir.